I do a lot of reading. I’m thinking especially right now of online articles and blogs. I’m also on Facebook, so that means I interact with several hundred people every week, including two or three “groups” that are somewhat exclusive in nature, and private in terms of the discussion that happens. I’m slowly coming to an unhappy conclusion, that actually puts me in the same category as the conclusion: there are an awful lot of dissatisfied people out there!
Probably the vast majority of my reading sources are religiious or political in nature. I’m including in this a number of individuals who might not think of themselves as occupying either of those realms, but I put them in there because most of what they have to say is either religiously or politically oriented. I would also suggest that even for the “average” person (whatever that is!), religion or politics is more important to their daily lives than they suspect.
What I think I hear from a great many people is that are just dissatisfied, unhappy, uneasy, incomplete, with something lacking in their lives that keeps them from experiencing their days without the need to complain, accuse, blame, or otherwise create a fuss.
An article by Michael J. Formica in Psychology Today, suggests that it’s our desire for “more” that is at play.
Basically, this is a conversation about stuff. Not just material stuff, but all sorts of stuff – intellectual, emotional, social, etc. – all of our human stuff. When we collect some stuff, we, quite naturally, want more stuff. It is this desire for more that traps us in our own dissatisfaction, because we are always grasping for that more-ness. Quite a conundrum isn’t it, as the American Way is, after all, all about bigger, better, stronger, faster, yes?
I’m sure this is right, at least to some degree. We’re forever trying to gather for ourselves whatever it is that we think will make us happy and fulfilled. The problem with that is that human beings seem to be afflicted with a drive that is both positive and negative. It’s positive in that this drive for more creates motivation, and motivation is often the catylist for great achievements, inventions, new and better ways to do things. But it’s negative in the sense that more is never enough.
Michael J. Formica went on to say:
The problem isn’t really the stuff. It’s the desire for the stuff, and the anxiety that desire provokes when unmet, creating the dissatisfaction. But how do you get rid of your desire?
That is at least somewhat in agreement with what the Bible says about money:
For the love of money is a root of all sorts of evil, and some by longing for it have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. — 1 Timothy 6:10 (NASB95)
And, he points out what I’ve already mentioned, that we never seem to find a place where we’ve acquired enough:
In the best of all possible worlds, we would operate with the maxim, “This much is enough.” Well, we don’t; instead, we fairly consistently pursue that elusive more-ness.
Really! We should think about this. How much money is enough? I have no opposition to any person earning as much as possible. But how much does one person need? How much does one family need? Could you live on $50,000.00 a year? Perhaps, depending on where you live, and you could actually be quite comfortable. But if you don’t think that’s enough, then what figure represents enough? $100,000.00? $1,000,000.00? If you’re starting off near the bottom, you think that $50,000.00 looks pretty good, but as you near your goal, it suddenly takes on a less favorable shine.
I used money in the paragraph above, but it doesn’t have to be money, or any kind of tangible thing. Some people keep seeking degrees and academic status, others dose themselves on a constantly increasing amount of attention or fame. We might think this is only a problem on Wall Street or Hollywood, but it’s as alive and well on the street where you live, and on the small screen of your life.
Dissatisfaction makes a person negative. It’s one thing for ambition and motivation to drive us forward to succeed, it’s another to get up every day and feel the oppressive weight of “not enough”. This is especially true when dissatisfaction turns us into monsters who blame others for the way we feel.
In the political world, ask a Republican or a Democrat why they’re dissatisfied with the way things are going. One will blame the other. Want to solve that problem? Create a Tea Party. Oops. No, they just point the finger at the other two. Want to talk religion? Ask young people why they are leaving the church. Answer? Often it’s the fault of those pesky old folks who just don’t “get it”.
You can enlarge this as much as you like. Why is one race of people dissatisfied? It’s the fault of some other race of people. Nations at odds with one another? Same answer. On and on.
Why am I dissatisfied? It’s probably your fault! I will say this about dissatisfaction. If I have conversations with 10 people during the day, at least seven of those ten will be about dissatisfaction.
I really need to be careful here. You see, there are things one person can do that so terribly, awfully, catestrophically affect others that the blame does rest with them. I’m not discounting the idea that bad people do bad things, and when they do, the results can have a lifetime’s effect. But so much of a person’s dissatisfaction rests on their own shoulders.
Someone may read this and respond by saying, “I’m not dissatisfied. This doesn’t apply to me.” To which, I say that’s great. But let me urge you to pay attention to yourself. How often do you talk about others in a negative way? How much of your view of the world shaped by the faulty behavior of others? I’m not asking you to be unreasonable. Politicians make bad decsions. Religious leaders can preach some damaging ideas. I’m asking you to consider how much your own desire for “more” and “better” is actually ruining your enjoyment of life.
This is not a light-hearted issue. If deep self-examination is more than you can manage right now, put this off until next week. But don’t put it off long.
Bill Denton Speaking Out! 